Why “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” is Most Applicable for the Grieving and My Favorite Christmas Song
For years “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” has been my favorite Christmas song and I always thought it was so silly. It’s very short, speaks nothing of the nativity scene, doesn’t touch on the wisemen, stars, and fancy glam of Christmas. I always thought it was silly that it was my favorite, until recently.
So the backstory goes, I grew up with 4 siblings. 3 brothers and 1 sister. My sister and I were best friends. We traveled the country together and talked everyday. She was literally a best friend and sister to me.
Tragically her and my younger brother were hit by a drunk driver December 16, 2014 right before Christmas. My brother survived the crash however my sister died instantly. The accident uprooted my life and broke my heart. I’ve been trying to put the pieces back together ever since.
I’ve had to go to the doctor, see specialists, get counseling. I experienced several physical ailments in response to the grief I was experiencing. One of the side effects of my sister’s death was hating Christmas. I HATE Christmas I would say every year. F**k Christmas I would say. It felt like a cruel joke someone was playing on me.
Christmas is supposed to be the time of year everyone is happy and joyful and merry, whatever that means. There’s hot cocoa by the fire, Christmas carols sung at your door, sleigh rides, gift giving, and good feeling. How was I supposed to feel anything good after the best thing in my life was taken away abruptly, with no good bye? Cruel. Ridiculously cruel. Nothing merry about it.
As time has passed and I’ve been able to heal more, I’ve realized that what happened was awful, yes. What happened was not something I would have chosen for myself. The universe chose it for me. These are my cards to play. But I still get to play. I don’t choose the cards, but I do choose how to play them.
I realized I have a choice on how to feel at Christmas. It’s hard as hell, but this year 2020 I’ve done lots of meditations releasing so many troubling thoughts. I’ve regained a substantial well of positive thinking in my mind that I’m choosing to carry out over Christmas time. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, but I’m already seeing the health benefits from it.
I used to think I was supposed to be sad at Christmas because it was the time of year my sister died. But that isn’t true.
I can choose to have myself a merry little Christmas.
“From now on our troubles will be miles away” I can release them to the universe and it take care of them.
“Let your heart be light” I don’t have to carry the weight of the grief. I can release that too.
“Faithful friends who are dear to us will be near to us once more” what about the loved ones that are still here ?
I have the best friends in the world whom I will get to see at Christmas time. Some since high school, some since college. What a blessing these people are to me, that are still here with me.
“Through the years we all will be together if the fates allow” the fates didn’t allow my sister and I to spend one more Christmas together and I trust that! Took me forever to get to this place but I can genuinely say that I trust her death did not happen to me, it happened for me. I no longer believe in accidents or coincidences. There are no accidents. Everything happens for a reason.
“…and have yourself a merry little Christmas NOW” is my favorite part of this whole thought.
NOW.
Not 40 years from now, not 20 years from now, not even 1 year from now, but TODAY- right NOW I can choose to be merry. I can still make space for the sadness I feel of not having my sister at Christmas-of course. It’s sadness on all kinds of levels. There is definitely a loss to feel. But I’ve realized that I can feel it, let it be, while also choosing to be free of gloom. I can be merry and light hearted. It’s possible, but it’s up to me.
If you’re like me and Christmas is a conflicting time, I encourage you to remember your power. You have the power to make Christmas however you want. I think you’ll like it more if you let the things you can’t change, be. While also embracing positive change. Create new traditions with the loved ones that are still here. Sending you lots of love and positive vibes this Christmas ! Thank you for reading.
